Hope. Inspiration. Encouragement.

When I first ran across Kerri's blog (www.sixuntilme.com) I was so inspired and amazed that there was someone out there who knew EXACTLY what I go through: the feelings I have, the thoughts in my head, the struggles, the excitement, all the little details, etc...about living with Diabetes.

Reading her journey inspired and encouraged me to want to be healthier and to do a better job at controlling my own Diabetes...and so I started my own blog.

Over the past week I have come across a whole network of Diabetic bloggers at tudiabetes.com ("A Community of People Touched By Diabetes").

Hope. Inspiration. Encouragement.

That's what I continue to feel when I read other peoples' stories!

It's exciting to see all the projects that are taking place to raise awareness and all the efforts that are being made to find a cure. They've come so far, even in the short 20 years since I've been diagnosed.

It's almost unfathomable to think what it would be like to live without Diabetes. It really isn't that far off!

Until then, I'll continue to come together with this 'Community of People Touched By Diabetes'
...and hopefully I can inspire and encourage a few people along the way too!


Find more videos like this on Tu Diabetes - A Community for People Touched by Diabetes


http://www.diabeteshandprint.com/


Find more videos like this on Tu Diabetes - A Community for People Touched by Diabetes

"Sovereign Stillness Whispers 'Trust in Me' "

Some days are much calmer than others. My blood sugar readings are decently stable throughout the day, I calculate the right amount of insulin to give myself according to the amount of carbs I am eating, I get in a good workout without my blood sugar dropping too low.

...And then there are days when out of no where or for no apparent reason, it's just "one of those days."

Yesterday my blood sugar soared up to 380 around 1:00pm!!!! (80-120 is a normal range). A high blood sugar is an AWFUL feeling...you're nauseous, extremely lethargic, and feel like you have cotton balls in your mouth!!!

Even after giving myself what felt like LOTS of insulin, the high continued til the end of the afternoon, on my way home from work, and was still there when I got home.

In frustration, I laid down on the couch, began reading a book, and just cried. When I'm upset, mad, angry, etc....I cry. This is what I do! When I am extremely touched, excited, happy...I cry too! Derek has gotten used to this and has come a long way from our first week of marriage when his way of consoling me was to look at me and say, "Wow! You cry a lot!"

I explained to him that it is ok. It's just my body's reaction to what I'm feeling. I said, if you are nervous, you might sweat...if I'm upset, I'm gonna cry. He now knows to just give me a hug and sit with me!
(Great book! "Just Walk Across the Room" by Bill Hybels.)

In the middle of reading, Hybels talked about Psalm 139 and the fact that we are made just the way God wanted us. I was reminded that while He was knitting me together in my mom's womb, He had a purpose for allowing me to get Diabetes...and He knew I'd get emotional about it at times.

Later that night when I was rejoicing over being 260 (which is still high, but much better than 380), I made my way to the kitchen to get dinner started. I decided to put on some music that I hadn't listened to in a long time. One of my all time favorite bands, Stavesacre.

While thinking through what could've gone wrong with my numbers earlier in the day, I felt myself going there with my thoughts...beginning to wish I didn't have Diabetes and how life would be much easier without it- blah, blah, blah.

All of a sudden, the lyrics to the music in the other room seemed to get louder and grabbed my attention:

Keep Waiting
But I think I know the way, I got a promise on the mind,
and I'll be looking for what's mine
Sovereign stillness whispers trust in me
And when they try to take your eyes off of me, remember
And when they try to take your eyes off of me, remember me
Keep Waiting, I'll be right on time
Keep Waiting, I'll be right on time

And again, another encouragement from the Lord to wait on His perfect timing and to trust in His sovereignty while I try to improve my health.

I often wake up in the middle of the night to test my blood sugar, especially after a day like yesterday when things aren't quite as stable. Poor Derek! I must've woken up 3 times last night, making noise, and turning on a little light next to the bed.

He woke up with me and asked, "You ok?" I was frustrated, but said "Sorry! Yeah, I'm fine." (although my tone of voice showed I really wasn't feeling ok). I finished my test, turned the light out and tried to get a few last hours of sleep before I had to wake up.

Derek grabbed my hand, pulled me in close, and wrapped his arms around me.
"Now I'm ok," I whispered.

Sleep, Schedules, and Lots of Laughter

Here's the situation:

I wake up at 5am to start getting ready for work. Originally I was scheduled to start at 7am, which has now become 6:45am...so in order to make sure I'm there on time, I like to show up at 6:35am! I leave the house at 6:20am, the absolute latest (a 15 minute commute isn't bad at all!!!).

Because of my early rise, ideally, I like to start getting ready for bed around 8:30pm (gotta get my 8 hrs!). Well, at the latest, Derek can get home at 7pm...which means a late dinner, maybe time for a tv show, and BOOM...I start panicking, needing to get ready for bed.

Since we've learned to compromise, Derek sacrifices by going to bed a little earlier, and I stretch my time and stay up a little later. At the earliest, I'm in bed at 9:30pm; at the latest- 10:30pm.

No mater how early I go to bed, waking up at 5:00am is rough!!! Some mornings I let myself sleep in until 5:20am, get ready really fast, and hop back in bed for a few minutes before the alarm goes off for Derek to wake up and for me to leave.

Well, yesterday I took a good nap after getting home from work AND, I fell asleep pretty early!!! I went to lay down and read while Derek cleaned up dinner (I do all the cooking, so he does all the dishes...it's a GREAT set-up!!!)...and I was out just before 8:30pm!!!

This morning I woke up with a song called Sleep stuck in my head. It's a catchy tune by Riley Armstrong and has described my week!

Lyrics to Sleep :
looking straight at the light
it never used to be that bright last night
but it's a new day with fuzz in my eyes
alarm is still ringing when I open the blinds
how do these people do it?
they are like driving around like there's nothing to it
I imagine it's the medication their on
or probably just the coffee but
one thing is certain in life
and that is today I'm going to eat cereal
yeah, today I'm going to eat cereal
I mean come on let's get our priorities straight
but before I know it I'm out the door late
just trying to catch some rat or some race
or something I'm not quite sure what it is
so for now I just best keep running
and by nine AM my brain and my body
finally decide to meet
and we come to the same conclusion as yesterday
that I never get enough sleep

CHORUS:
sleep, no I never get enough
always waking up tired
sleep, no I never get enough
if I don't show up I might get fired
sleep, no I never get enough
always waking up tired
sleep, no I never get enough
if I don't show up I might get fired

they call it commuting
but I think they should call it intravenous
cause it's what I need every time I get
stuck behind a truck, just trying to turn left
just trying to turn left, why are you trying to turn left?
why don't you go park that crazy little cube van
hop in I'll drop you off or something

cause at this rate we'll both be late
but I'd rather be late than both be sitting here doing nothing
and by nine AM my brain and my body
finally decide to meet
and we come to the same conclusion as yesterday
that I never get enough sleep

BRIDGE:
sleep go on and sleep some more
sleep go on and sleep some more
[ Sleep Lyrics on http://www.lyricsmania.com/ ]

They say that sleep is crucial to your health! I'm working on getting my schedule at work changed so Derek and I can actually spend some time together while I'm awake and alive with energy.

For now, I'm counting on laughter being the best medicine...since I do have the funniest husband alive!!!


(I LOVE this picture. It was taken on a self-timer. Derek purposefully made me laugh so hard and the picture was timed just right where you see me erupting into genuine laughter, as Derek tries to hold back his.)


Here's to getting better sleep, getting my schedule proposal approved at work, and erupting into loud, obnoxious laughter with someone you love!!!

Goals, Pretty Dresses, and Striving For My Best

I didn't believe it, but I guess it's true what they say...Marriage makes you fat!!!
Ok, well, not exactly...but let's just say that Derek and I are not on top of our game these days!

For months working our way up to the wedding, we were both diligent about working out and preparing for the big day. We were so busy with all the planning that at times, I didn't eat, and just seemed to lose a little bit of weight without trying!

Well, fast forward to 10 months later, after spending all of our time inside, unpacking boxes, and laying on the couch, still recovering from all the busyness...here we are, not quite as fit!

Derek suggested that we find pictures of ourselves when we were at our best, and frame them somewhere where we can be reminded and motivated to get back in the best shape of our lives!

Sometimes a physical, "in your face" reminder is needed to keep us on point. There are so many distractions through each day and other "stuff" fighting for our attention.
I'm hoping this blog will be some sort of accountability for me to diligently and purposefully take control of my health, as I blog about the journey and ups and downs of Diabetes.

A few months ago, after being inspired by a friend at work who shared with us co-workers, what God was doing in her life, teaching her, etc. I wrote up a sort of Mission/Purpose Statement for my life. It helps to come back to this every morning before starting my day:

"My life is not my own...I have been bought with a price, so I will
shine and glorify God with my body, mind, emotions, job, health, habits, hobbies, dreams, and life.

He has allowed me to have Diabetes. I don't know why...but that
doesn't matter. I will seek to use that for good, striving to glorify Him with my health. I will be careful about what I put into my body- what I eat, think, listen to, look at, touch, etc.

My body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. I will do all within my power to control this disease that fights against my body. I will do this for God, Derek, my family, my future children, my friends, and myself. I will continue to seek out a better life, a life of wholeness and optimal health. I will not give up the fight, but will do all of this, knowing that I can rely on the Lord for my strength!

I will allow God to break me, correct me, teach me, and guide me. I will be faithful, available, and teachable in all things, little and big. I will serve Him in every moment, as if it were my last.

I will take all of my fears and worries to the Lord in prayer. I will pray for miracles, knowing that nothing is impossible with God.

I will work each day to become a better wife, daughter, sister, cousin, niece, grand-daughter, employee, and friend. I will strive to be hospitable to everyone; humble, honest, and loving.

I will do everything without complaining or arguing, so that I may become blameless and pure, without fault in this crooked and depraved generation, as I hold out the Word of Life, in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing."

*1 Corinthians 16:14-20 *Philippians 2:14-16

I'm not perfect, but it helps to have that written out as something to strive for. I guess carrying around a picture of me on my wedding day... tanner and thinner, hair done, makeup applied, and wearing a princess dress wouldn't hurt with the motivation to getting fit either- huh?!?!?

...or maybe I can just prance around the apartment in my dress once a week- because who doesn't want to feel like a princess?!?!

Here's to goals, pretty dresses, and striving for my best!

Childhood Memories, My Support Group, and Bike Rides

I LOVE weekends!!! This weekend was spent catching up with old friends I haven’t seen in 10 years!!! It was quite a blast from the past, but brought back good memories as we all met back in EGV for some good Mexican food at Tapalpa.
Derek and I also spent some good time with other friends that we love, as well as our families the past 2 days. As usual, the time went by too fast.

My mom recently had major surgery that is putting her on bed rest for 6-8 weeks. As a result, family and friends have been making meals, stopping in to say hi, and praying for her. Friends and family are always such a blessing...especially in times like these. It's like one big support group of people you can always lean on.

It got me thinking back to when I was first diagnosed with Diabetes. Some of the details are really vivid, and some area little blurry. I do remember people rallying around our family and being a solid support for us. I remember my parents constantly by my side, my cousins playing pac-man with me while I was in the hospital for a week and other family members watching my brother and sister.

I don’t know what it was like for my brother and sister to have my parents gone for a week or to see their big sister sick and weak… or what it was like for my parents to have this huge life-changing interruption and disease happen all of a sudden to their little girl!

For me, getting Diabetes at the age of 8 was just like an event that took place. I don’t remember thinking this was a big huge life-changing moment in my life. My parents did an amazing job of giving me the most “normal” childhood I could think of. They never made me feel like Diabetes was a big hassle, and they made sure Diabetes didn’t get in my way or stop me from doing anything.

I played sports, went away to camp, and had sleepovers with my cousins and friends on the weekends. I rode my bike all day long and played with the neighborhood kids. They did an AMAZING job of keeping things “normal”! When I think of growing up, I only have GOOD memories!!!

I have a fuzzy memory of my blood sugar going so low when I was 10 years old, that I was beginning to go unconscious. My mom had to call 9-1-1 and an ambulance came to my rescue. Another time, I remember my blood sugar dropping again, and my dad laying me across his lap, while he poured orange juice down my throat. I remember beginning to cough and come “back to” as my dad was holding me.

I can’t imagine some of the scary moments they experienced or the worries and fears that went through their minds when I was away at school, at a friends house, or even just sleeping upstairs in my room. I will never know what that was like for them! I am married, 28 years old, and all grown up now. I’m pretty sure they STILL worry! As much as they’d like to make my Diabetes go away, I wish I could take their worries away.

My husband was feeling light-headed a week ago. I was a nervous wreck…afraid he’d fall over and faint. He was just simply over-tired and wanted to lay down. I literally took his hand and walked with him to the living room couch. I asked him if he was ok every 10 minutes. Same with my mom, when we visited her this weekend. We went outside for a few minutes to get some fresh air. I was afraid she was in pain and I hated watching her go up and down the stairs. I had to put her shoes on for her and tie them, since she isn’t able to do that right now. I loved that I was able to help her, even if it was just something simple like her shoes. But…I couldn’t stop worrying.

Again, I can’t imagine to what lengths my parents worried about me and continue to! Maybe God allowed me to get Diabetes instead of someone else close to me…I would’ve probably died of a worry-induced heart attack if it had to be someone else!!!

…And a new addition to my “support group” is Derek’s family! It’s so wonderful inheriting another great family!!! And what a surprise when they came over yesterday with a bike for me for a birthday present!!!

Here’s to amazing people who love and support me, the weather warming up and long bike rides through the city with my hubby and friends!!!